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How to Sucessfully Write a Funny Story, The Best Ways to go to Jail

Here's a segment where I give my fantastic advice on how to be sucessful. Listen and learn     How to write a funny story:   1. Have the main character be a 50 year old Jewish pimp from Memphis. 2. Have him say things like “Sweet ride, baby cakesâ€, and “Lets make some swizzle swazzle magic razzle happen here!†and “Thou art a fool for arriving,Benvolioâ€. 3. Make him have a problem with a Pomeranian. 4. Name the Pomeranian Elizabethella. 5.Have him hire a dumb but lovable sidekick named “Steve†to help him kill the Pomeranian. 6. Kill the Pomeranian. 7. Realize that a Pomeranian is, in fact, a dog. 8. Realize that your story is awful. 9. Self-Publish it anyway. 10. Make a stupid vow about the story, like, “I won’t take [email protected]#$ from nobody.†11. End up taking [email protected]#$ from everybody. 12. Shoot up a club. 13. Start a career as a successful rapper.       How to Get a Free Trip Straight to Jail: 1. Kill a Pomeranian. 2. Open fire at a casket yelling “You’re dead , dumb bastard!â€. 3. Throw a bucket of ice water on a cop. 4. Make a citizens arrest on yourself. 5. Break into the Senate during session and scream the preamble of the Constitution. 6. Attempt to ask John Kerry a question at a rally. ** 7. Become a cop just to arrest yourself. 8. Forget to read the Miranda rights to yourself and get arrested again because of this. 9. Punch the next man, woman, or child you see wearing pajamas in public. 10. Streak onto a field during a football game and tackle Tony Romo, injuring him for the rest of the season.       [email protected]#$ YOU PFEIFFER THESE ARE HILARIOUS

MRBOOTY

MRBOOTY

 

Review of Music Videos (Comedic Writing)

This is from a couple years ago, but it's still relevant   The thing is, music videos have been bad from the beginning, but recently they’ve only gotten worse. A lot worse. Like so bad that I, an illiterate and poorly educated American, felt the need to write an essay reviewing all of them so you don’t have to suffer the pain of watching them.     Got Money- Lil Wayne and T-Pain:   After watching this, your question of “ Would I like to see a bunch of millionaires with dreadlocks dancing around a vault with near-naked women?†will be answered with a solid “No, probably notâ€. This video, which consists entirely of the same IN-understandable lyrics in a loop, is probably one of the most viewed on YouTube, although I wouldn’t know, because I can’t read. Watching it is equivalent to looking into the dreams of Charlie Sheen while somebody sings random words into an auto tune program right next to your ears. It hurts the soul.     Tik Tok- Ke$ha: Do you like everything that is wrong with society today? Then this video may be for you! In it, Ke$ha takes us through her life of alcohol, sex, and crazy partying. Her auto-tuned voice sounds beautiful as she takes through chorus after chorus of seemingly randomly selected name drops and drugs/drinks. The only upside of this video is that if you show it to your kids they will never want to drink, ever. The National Institute of Music officially declared that downloading this song from itunes counts as losing your virginity. I am scared for humankind.     Stupid hoe- Nicki Minaj:   This video, which has 3 times as many dislikes as likes, has set records for most views in a day, among others. Let me put it this way, those records weren’t set for brilliance and art. This video features Nicky Minaj dancing on a pole, rapping, and at one point letting out a 20 second moan for no apparent reason. Edited by a 7 year old, at one point her eyes get massively bigger than they really are and she has what appears to be a aneurysm, in an apparent attempt to fascinate people out of realizing how awful this is. (And just to make sure she angers all people, shes wearing a leopard costume, you know, for PETA). The only difference between this and porn is that a porn video has better music. This is a really truly awful video.     Party in the U.S.A- Miley Cyrus:   In this video Miley, famous for playing a fake popstar on a Disney show, dances around while singing about her life as a ‘lil country girl’ in a big mean city. In the video itself Miley walkes, hustles, and jigs around in a skirt short enough to be a dishcloth while people stare at her. I’m not kidding, this video is composed 95% of people watching her horrifically awkward dance moves as she shows them off for 4 minutes straight. To make matters worse, she name drops random singers in this video, too. This, coupled with “Fridayâ€, are the songs they have on a loop at the DNV.     Friday -Rebecca Black: This song and the video that accompanies it had 100 million views before it was taken down. This is the most famous example that anyone will give you of autotune. Rebecca’s voice is high and nasally as she repeats the same lyrics about parties and fun over and over and over again. Then a black guy driving some weird SUV comes in, raps some odd lyrics about very illicit driving, and then fades into the obscurity of the pedophile world. Rebecca Black manages to have some of the worst lip syncing I’ve ever seen in this video while maintaining a perfect record of all of her scenes being of a bunch of teenagers sitting with or standing around her while she pretends to sing this soul-wrenching song. This made me cry.

MRBOOTY

MRBOOTY

 

Laws (A mixture of roleplay and nation perks)

So, I was just thinking about the game like I often do, and had an idea for what I think would make a neat feature. We've talked in the past about "Services" (a sort of project/perk mix, where you could enable something like "Free Healthcare for All Citizens" that would have some tradeoff type effect, and it would be advantageous for some nations and harmful for others). I thought this was a good idea, but I was trying to think of a better way to implement it than simply an "on/off" switch for a bunch of options. Nation perks are also something that people are constantly asking about, and today I finally mashed the two together into an idea that I wanted to suggest to the community.   How about a system of Laws that functioned as a mixture of both "Services" and "Perks"? I'm thinking it goes something like this: each nation would have some sort of legislature that would have to pass laws. You (as head of state) could push for laws to be passed or repealed, once per day. These laws would have effects that could help or harm your nation, depending on your building style. For example, let's say there's a Universal Healthcare law:   There'd be a number of laws, this being just one example, and each nation would have the ability to try and sign one into effect or repeal an already passed one per day. Whether you were successful or not would be a random chance figure, maybe 33%. So, let's say you think this law is going to benefit your nation (you can afford the extra upkeep, or maybe you just need extra slots so you want to cut down on hospitals), you click a button and attempt to pass this law. The dice are rolled, and 67% of the time you'll fail (meaning you can try again tomorrow to pass/repeal a different law) or 33% of the time you'd succeed (the law goes into effect, and you can try tomorrow to pass/repeal a law).   It's a pretty straightforward system, and I think that players who enjoy the roleplay aspect of the game (think NationStates) would enjoy this feature a lot, and players who want nation perks (diversification of nations) would enjoy it as well. Laws could be stacked so that you'd need to pass one related to, perhaps Military, before you could pass another, more influential law, etc.   It would also provide a platform for fun events, like April Fool's jokes, some sort of Zombie Apocalypse (you could pass laws to react to it, or something, etc.   Potential drawbacks are that some people are undoubtedly going to be luckier than others, some people are going to think it's just another hoop to jump through to getting your nation "ideal" (in terms of numbers, min-maxing, that sort of thing), and other people will probably be disappointed it's not Nation Perks in their simplest "pick and choose" form.   I think, though, that limiting it to 1 law action per day, and having laws that are situational (peacetime/wartime, commerce/resources, etc.) would create the diversification that perks would add but in a very limited, roleplay oriented way. For example, if your nation had a bunch of laws that were great for peacetime but bad for wartime, and suddenly you go to war, it's not going to be easy to magically flip all of your laws. It would make you think twice whether you want to invest too heavily one way or the other, and keep people from being able to just react immediately to changes in min-max situations, which essentially nullify any sort of optional mechanic.   Anyway, there's my rambling thoughts on what I think would be a neat feature for the game. This is totally just me making a post about an idea, don't expect this to be happening overnight. Also, I don't really need any "law" suggestions, for the aforementioned reason. Just give me some feedback on what you think. Good idea, or no?

Alex

Alex

 

Jodo's Opinionated Culture Post That Is Entirely Opinion. Also Opinion Post.

The following is my opinion. See that door? Go back through it if you have an issue with what I say.       Here is how I see Orbis and the main 'cultures' that are at play within it. They are in no real particular order or anything, and my knowledge of them varies. For what its worth I've spent the last 8 years interacting with many of them in various forms, and I hope that maybe you'll find this at least interesting. The three main cultures at play right now are:
CyberNations

eRepublik

LunarWars

There are of course more minor cultures around as well as various people who fit into multiple or none at all. That said, lets get started.   The Old Guard: Cybernations. Yes, lets just get it out of the way. We all know what (That terrible game that is totally irrelevant and I shouldn't be bringing it up anyways) is, and it is more or less the oldest 'culture' at play here in Orbis. My experience with them is actually the most limited out of all the cultures I'll be talking about, so by all means take everything I say here with a grain of salt. In my experience with (That terrible game that is totally irrelevant and I shouldn't be bringing it up anyways) and its labyrinth of Politics it all really boils down to a few simple things. First off, treaties are king. The be all end all of the political thought process. Their culture revolves around forming pacts with one another for various reasons ranging from "We're friends, so lets protect each other." to "These guys are [email protected]#$, lets treaty them so they can't fight against us when we murder their friends next week.". Frankly, it doesn't make much sense to me. But then again, I'm part of another culture that I will get to later on in this post.   Secondly, these guys/gals are pretty easy to spot. They like to be 'official'. They speak, act, and operate in specific patterns. Everything they say, do, and sign is done in a very prim and proper way. They dislike and do not understand others who simply prefer a more informal way of doing things. I've seen the term 'childish' and things of that nature used when they come across a group or alliance that isn't a cookie cutter mold of themselves. For all intents and purposes they are the 'Elitist' group. That said, their way of doing things shouldn't be offhandedly considered bad. Its actually the opposite. Their system works, if a bit slowly. The pacts between themselves and others are generally very long lasting. They are very loyal to those pacts and treaties, partially because thats the only thing they know and also because its stable and the safe way of doing things. They know how to organize, but again their main drawback is speed.   eRepublik: Read This. Based on my experiences with eRepublik its very accurate. There isn't much I can add to it.   LunarWars: Go back and read the CyberNations part. Read it? Good. Reverse everything. Now add in a dash of hate towards (That terrible game that is totally irrelevant and I shouldn't be bringing it up anyways). You have the LW crowd. Doesn't make sense? I'll do my best to explain that world and how it operated.   This is the culture that I'm "part" of. Its the one I know best, am known best in, and have been an off and on leader within for the past 8 years. Its also doesn't have a home any longer. (That terrible game that is totally irrelevant and I shouldn't be bringing it up anyways) and eR both have worlds that they call home. LW is different as it no longer has a home. It was destroyed. The game they hail from no longer exists and was taken down long ago though a security flaw. Numerous attempts have been made to recreate it and every single one has failed. So, they have no where to go but forward to new worlds. They arrive in force and claim what they can. Without a home world to recruit from they have very little in the way of numbers. They adapt to the new world, or they die. They have to. There is no retreat back to a safe world. It doesn't exist for them.   As for LW, it was a place of constant hate and betrayal. Treaties were somewhat uncommon. Alliances largely either stood alone, or in massive blocs. Wars were very common, but the reasoning was vastly different than that of (That terrible game that is totally irrelevant and I shouldn't be bringing it up anyways). Simply put, betrayal or even no reason at all. Alliances stabbed each other in the back because they could. It was common to have alliance heads smile and speak of peace, while simultaneously planning out the systematic destruction of one another. Treaties would be cancelled and dropped with no explanation, a war declaration posted, and an organized beatdown followed within minutes. Alliances would go to war because it was a Friday night and someone ran out of beer. There was very little reason behind much of it beyond just killing each other.   However, it was also balanced out. Alliances that had no formal treaty between one another, but had friendly relations, would stand together and take beatings together. In a way, it was a odd sense of 'honor'. But in a world of constant betrayal, the only person you knew you could trust was the guy who had taken a bullet for you. It was their way of counteracting being rolled monthly. With no way for an opponent to know who would side with a potential enemy, and thus their total strength, it provided a way for those alliances to survive and continue to exist.   The LW culture is quick to war, and very efficient at it. Maximum damage is the rule of thumb, extensive knowledge of mechanics, and always wary of anyone that approaches. Formal treaties are viewed with distrust, and treaties between potential rivals are generally considered a future threat. Blocs are hated, even though the nature of the LW culture forces them to be in a paperless one. Because they have no home to return to they are forced to be well organized, educated in the mechanics, and brutal in war. There is no retreat. Surrender isn't something they understand, because surrender is basically death. The LW culture has two major flaws to it. First, because of its distrustful nature its very hard for an outsider/recruit to acclimate to it. Nobody in the group trusts them, and they are viewed as a potential spy or leaker. Unless you have LW street cred (As in, you played) you are very rarely considered an equal. Think of it as a bunch of old war vets swapping war stories from WWII, and in walks a 20 year old who shot a pistol once and wants to hang out with them. The second major flaw is their distrust of one another. Sure, they may have taken bullets for one another in the past, or even recent history, but deep down... that distrust of a potential betrayal is always there. An innocent comment, and friendly "Hello" to a potential enemy suddenly becomes something else entirely.   Well, thats my culture post. As I said before, its my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt. Its not meant to piss anyone off but to kind of explain how I view the main groups/cultures of Orbis. Maybe this will help others understand them or at least bridge the gaps between them.

Jodo

Jodo

 

Play #1 pt. 3

Well, thanks word limit. Now I have to divide this into three parts.     Act 2 Scene 2 - A parking lot behind the Orbis Wal-Mart Scene: The lot is entirely abandoned, with the exception of Sheepy, who is making a furtive sacrifice to the blood god in an empty refrigerator box. Clouds blanket the sky, and a brisk wind sends plastic bags flying around.   enter Guardian, Rose, Seven Kingdoms, and Terminus Est   Guardian *excitedly* Alright, our mortal foes shall be here soon! We need to prepare an ambush. Rose, hide behind the shopping cart. SK, behind the light pole. I'll be back here, behind all this donation bin.   Terminus Est What about me?   Guardian Since you are the weakest link, stand right here in the middle and serve as our bait. Look pathetic, though it shouldn't be too hard.   Terminus Est Its hard to look weak when I once disemboweled a guy just so I could get his souvenir keychain. It had my name on it, you see.   Rose *excitedly* Can I play with the intestines?   Seven Kingdoms *exasperatedly* Rose, TEst is making that up. Its never disemboweled anyone.   Guardian All of you, shut up! Now TEst, stand there or I'll break your other kneecap! Everyone else, get into position, I think I hear them!   Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms move into their hiding places. Terminus Est hobbles into position in the middle of the lot   enter United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds, discussing the differences between lemonade and limeade.   The Dutch East India Company Well I'm telling you, limes are really much be- *with surprise* Well well well, if it isn't our old friend Terminus Est. What are you doing here?   Terminus Est I'm here to inflict severe bodily harm, of course.   United Purple Yeah, how you gonna do that? By shooting yourself again? How is that leg by the way?   Terminus Est I only need one to kick your ass.   Brotherhood of the Clouds So where are your loser posse TEst? They run scared, like last time?   Guardian Right here!   ​Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms spring out of hiding, surrounding The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds.   Guardian *eagerly* Now whose at a disadvantage? Heheh, you fell right into my clever trap!   Brotherhood of the Clouds Clever? You must admit this trap is rather rudimentary. Anyone could really come up with it.   Guardian What?! My genius is unparalleled! Do you think idiots like Seven Kingdoms could come up with something of this caliber?   Seven Kingdoms Yeah, I could. This was pretty simple.   Guardian *angrily* Shut up! The point is, you've fallen into my trap. Prepare to get crushed for all eternity!   The Dutch East India Company You know, why do you hate us so much?   Guardian A long history of tyranny going back to when we los- suffered an minor and temporary setback this afternoon!   Seven Kingdoms *with brutal honesty* We were bored and looking for some fun. Rose wanted to play on the slide.   Brotherhood of the Clouds That is pretty sad.   Guardian I'll let SK's treason slide because you'll never get to leave and tell anyone! ATTACK!   Mysterious Voice Not so fast!   A bag of trash splits in half and Empire of Spades steps out   Empire of Spades I can't let you do that Guardian. Like I said before, UPN owes me $5. $5 which I intend to collect.   Guardian *huaghtily* Yeah? Well, I guess you'll just have to do that after we're done.   United Purple Nations EOS, you're alive? Rose said that it ate you!   Empire of Spades hangs its head in frustration   Empire of Spades And all you guys believed Rose? Since when has Rose done anything that would lead you to believe it could actually eat me?   The Dutch East India Company I dunno, it just sounded like something Rose would do.   Rose I can eat you if I want. Spades are just like stickers and rocks, very chewy.   Empire of Spades That is really messed up. Have you ever gotten Rose checked out?   Seven Kingdoms The doctor says its permanent.   Empire of Spades Shame. Anyway, if you won't let me at UPN, I'll go through you first!   Guardian I knew I was right to not let you join our party! Sick EOS, allies!   Rose and Seven Kingdoms run at Empire of Spades, who nimbly dodges away and charges Guardian. Empire of Spades pulls out a knife and is about to stab Guardian when Ignis Immortales appears from nowhere and launches itself at Empire of Spades.   Guardian What?   Empire of Spades What the-   Instead of shredding Guardian, Empire of Spade's blade cuts deep into Ignis Immortales. Ignis Immotales falls to the ground, bleeding, while Guardian bends over it. All the other alliances stand still.   Gaurdian *confused and angry* Ignis, why did you do that, you idiot! I had everything under control!   Ingnis Immortales *weakly* Because...... I love you.... Guardian...... I...... just...... wanted to.... help.... I'm glad...I saved... you...   Guardian Well, I'm not glad you moron! At least you could've taken down EOS before you got stabbed! And where are the missiles I sent you to buy?! Thanks for being completely useless!   Ignis Immortales *weakly* You're....not...happy?....But....I.......   Ignis Immortale's head rolls back, and its eyes close for the final time   Seven Kingdoms *accusatorially to Empire of Spades* You killed Ignis!   Empire of Spades Eh, whatever. Its not like Ignis really matters.   Guardian Yeah, fair point.   A shot rings out, and Empire of Spades collapses to the ground. United Purple Nations lowers its weapon   United Purple Nations Sorry EOS, but I need that $5. You should've stayed dead.   ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds pull out guns and the three turn to face Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms   The Dutch East India Company Lets polish off these idiots for real, then get out of here. I say this takes 2 minutes tops.   Brotherhood of the Clouds You're on!   Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company fist bump   Seven Kingdoms Not today! For too long have we been oppressed by cruel and callous alliances. Now, we end that threat! For Ignis Immortales!   Guardian *whispers* Not for Ignis, thats embarrassing...   The Dutch East India Company *sarcastically* Nice role-play, how long did it take you to come up with that!   Seven Kingdoms Less than it'll take to finish you off! Ahhhhhh!   Seven Kingdoms and Rose charge, followed by Guardian. Terminus Est hobbles as fast as it can behind them. Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds charge as well, and the two groups meet in the middle of the parking lot in a frenzy of shots and fisticuffs.   Terminus Est I may be slow, but I'm still crazy! Take this.   Terminus Est fires two shots. One manages to curve into its uninjured knee, and Terminus Est collapses. The other bullet slams into Seven Kingdoms, who takes another step and then falls to the ground, dead.   Guardian Noooooooooo! Seven Kingdoms!   Rose barrels into The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds, sending them both flying. It then begins to pummel UPN. ​Guardian charges The Dutch East India Company and tries to to keep the alliance down with punches and kicks.   Guardian That was for Seven Kingdoms! And that was for my obsessive compulsive hatred of you! And that was for my mother! And that was for world peace! And that was-   Brothehood of the Clouds calmly walks up behind Guardian and stabs it with Empire of Spade's knife. Fueled by obsessive hatred, Guardian turns around and tears the knife out from its back and swings wildly at Brotherhood of the Clouds. Brotherhood of the Clouds and The Dutch East India Company back away and watch as Guardian staggers around until it collapses.   The Dutch East India Company Where's The Almighty when you need him now?   Brotherhood of the Clouds Nice line.   The Dutch East India Company Thanks, it was really only natural for such an all-around amazing alliance like myself. Lets go finish off Rose.   Rose picks up United Purple Nations, and throws the alliance across the lot, but United Purple Nations lands on its feet. Rose begins singing tribal chants.   United Purple Nations *creeped out* Man, why did I have to fight Rose? Oh well, lets cut this rose's stem!   United Purple Nations picks up its gun and prepares to fire when Rose suddenly breaks and runs away.   United Purple Nations What!?   ​Rose yells that it must preserve the line of kings and disappears around the corner of the store. The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds join United Purple Nations   United Purple Nations Rose got away.   Brotherhood of the Clouds Oh well, we still won conclusively, as was expected. How much time, by the way?   The Dutch East India Company 1 minute 43 seconds, looks like I win.   Brotherhood of the Clouds Rats!   The three alliances turn to Terminus Est, who is laying on the ground, looking terrified.   The Dutch East India Company What do you want to do with TEst.   United Purple Nations We're merciful, more than these guys would've ever been. Lets leave this one alone.   Brotherhood of the Clouds Alright!   As the three alliances take one last look at Terminus Est, Brotherhood of the Clouds suddenly gives out a cry and collapses, a katana in its back. The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations turn around in shock and horror to see a familiar alliance standing in the lot.   Green Protection Agency Hello my fellows.   United Purple Nations *shocked* What did you do?   Green Protection Agency I was simply securing my rule over this world. I thank you for eliminating so much of the competition, but I'm afraid your usefulness is at its end. Goodbye.   United Purple Nations If you think we're going to let some dirty neutral rule this place, you're sadly mistaken!   The Dutch East India Company Lets show this hippie how us blocs do things around here!   The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations hold up their hands and begin to glow. When the glow fades, a single alliance stands in their place. The two alliances have merged.   United Company of East Indies Nations Didn't expect that, did you! This one is for Brotherhood!   United Company of East Indies Nations takes a thundering step forward and tries to crush Green Protection Agency. However Green Protection Agency simply dodges the massive alliance and flicks its hand, sending United Company of East Indies Nations flying into a wall, where it dissolves into its two constituent alliances, who do not move.   Green Protection Agency Well that was.. unimpressive. All these warlike alliances are fools anyway. Killing and maiming themselves while I take over behind the scenes. If only they knew their pathetic little plots and petty rivalries were utterly meaningless. If they had united, they might have stood a chance.   Green Protection Agency stares around at the devastation, its eyes alighting on Terminus Est   Terminus Est *nervously* We're cool, right?   Green Protection Agency Sorry, no blood-drinking cultists my new world. Insane relics like yourself deserve only to cease existing.   Green Protection Agency flicks its hand again, and Terminus Est spontaneously combusts, melting into a pool of bile and ill-thought out forum posts   Green Protection Agency Well, I suppose that it is time to begin ruling my new domain. It has been a blast everyone...   Green Protection Agency turns and begins to walk out of the parking lot, away from the fallen alliances, giving no further thought to the foes which it had vanquished, and only to the future. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant and materializes next to Green Protection Agency.   The Supreme Gentlemen Heeeey GPA, loved the final speech. Very classy. I always knew that you would win, I'm pretty good at picking winners. Say, you need any help running this place? I could be very helpful!   ​Green Protection Agency I'm sorry, who are you?   The Supreme Gentlemen *frustrated* FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-   End

TheNG

TheNG

 

Play #1 pt. 2

Act 2 Scene 1 - The backyard of Guardian's home. Scene: The backyard is verdant, covered in grass and shrubs. Seven Kingdoms sits at a table writing Lord of the Rings fan fiction while a small group of alliances mill around, making small talk. Sheepy walks among them, giving out blessings.   Enter Guardian and Rose   Guardian walks over and sits down besides Seven Kingdoms. Rose eagerly watches a caterpillar eat a leaf.   Seven Kingdoms How did the spying go?   Guardian ​*haughtily* Excellent, as with all my endeavors of course. So, are these all the alliances which wanted to help? You know, I thought there'd be more.   Seven Kingdoms Well, it turns out that we are all incredibly unpopular, so I was only able to get a few to come over here. We can ask them a few questions to see whether they are a good fit.   Guardian Do we have to? I mean, I still think we can do everything on our own, its not like UPN, DEIC, and BoC are better than us in every way.   Seven Kingdoms Well, they really are, look what happened last time.   Guardian begins to cry   Guardian Why do you constantly have to destroy my fragile and pathetic self-esteem SK?   Seven Kingdoms Listen, lets just talk to some of these guys first, OK?   Guardian dries its eyes   Guardian Fine, but then we go crush them and fulfill the natural order.   Seven Kingdoms *paternally* Of course Guardian, I wouldn't have it any other way. *shouts* Form a line guys! First alliance step forward!   A small, short alliance steps forward. Although it strongly resembles Seven Kingdoms, it manages to be even less impressive   Guardian What's your name?   Ordo Draconum I'm Ordo Draconum sir!   Guardian Do I know you?   Seven Kingdoms He's my little brother   Guardian Man, you guys are both ugly   Seven Kingdoms and Ordo Draconum Hey!   Guardian What, I'm just being honest. Anyway, I'll pass on you Ordo.   Seven Kingdoms But why? We need the help.   Guardian You're just kind of small Ordo, I mean even BoC could stomp on you!   Seven Kingdoms Since when do you care about others personal safety?   Guardian Normally I don't care about others at all, but there are slightly more impressive alliances in line. Next!   Seven Kingdoms whispers to Ordo Draconum, who walks away dejectedly. The next alliance, a ragged and dirty creature, steps forward.   Exit Ordo Draconum   Guardian Alright, what is your name?   INTL Anarchist Communist Front My name is INTL Anarchist Communist Front.   Guardian *whisper to Seven Kingdoms* This guy seems like a commie. You know how we hate these guys.   Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Trust me,it isn't, it may seem a little weird, but it could be useful.   INTL Anarchist Communist Front You know, I can hear everything you are saying, and I'm not a commie. I'm an anarchist.   Guardian Oh, spying are we, you despicable monster! Leave my sight at once you filthy commie!   INTL Anarchist Communist Front I'm telling you, I'm not a communist, I'm an anarchist!   Guardian I don't care! I don't like you anyway, and if I don't like you, you rapidly become an unhealthy obsession for me for weeks and weeks, building up to a massive all-powerful strike! Now get out before I kill you!   INTL Anarchist Communist Front You can't kill anything! Thats why I'm here right now!   Guardian lets out a strangled scream and lunges for INTL Anarchist Communist Front. Seven Kingdoms struggles to hold Guardian back and frantically motions for INTL Anarchist Communist Front to leave.   exit INTL Anarchist Communist Front   Seven Kingdoms Guardian, calm down!   Guardian *screaming loudly* After I smash my other enemies, you'll be next! FEAR ME!   Seven Kingdoms Uh, next! Next!   A third alliance steps forward while Seven Kingdoms manages to push Guardian back into its seat.   Guardian *attempting to calm down* Your name?   Empire of Spades C'mon, you guys don't remember me?   Seven Kingdoms EOS? I thought you were dead? Rose said he ate you...   Empire of Spades Hah, that idiot couldn't kill me if it tried. Nah, I was just hiding out, and now I'm back to kick some ass!   Guardian ​But you're friends with DEIC, UPN, and BoC. Why do you want to help us?   Empire of Spades Because I'm bored, and you guys are so pathetic, its funny. Plus, I have a blood feud with UPN, it owes me $5.   Guardian We're pathetic?! You're pathetic! And I'll prove that we're not pathetic! We don't need your help at all! I'll beat them all without you!   Empire of Spades Eh, whatever guys, I can always fight you. Have fun getting beat.   Empire of Spades pulls out a cigar and walks away humming, while Guardian stares angrily and Seven Kingdoms hangs its head.   exit Empire of Spades   Seven Kingdoms *exasperatedly* Come on Guardian, we have to get someone to help us! Some of those alliances could've been useful. You've got to stop driving people away.   Guardian I've been driving people away all my short, miserable life! Why stop now! Anyway, all these alliances were terrible. Where is good help when you need it?   Seven Kingdoms We are the good help (which is saying something I suppose.) Ugh, oh well. Next!   An tall, handsome, and impressive alliance steps forward. It exudes confidence and competence. The mouths of Guardian and Seven Kingdoms hang open   Guardian Can I please be your friend?   Seven Kingdoms No pick me! Please! I want to have a normal alliance for a friend!   Mysterious Alliance I heard you guys needed some help, well I can provide.   Guardian *excitedly* Yes, yes you can help us! What is your name?   Mysterious Alliance My name is Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance, you can call me ICE for short.   Seven Kingdoms Have I heard of you before?   Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance Well, you may have heard of some of my members. Aamir, Morgan Fr-   Seven Kingdoms, Guardian, and Rose let out terrified screams   Seven Kingdoms *terrfied* MONSTER!!!!   Guardian *terrified* A FRASER ALLIANCE!! KILL IT!!!   Rose *terrified* What did I do to deserve this?   Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance *pleading* No, please! Give me a chance! I've changed!   Rose, Guardian, and Seven Kingdoms run around the yard, screaming. Imperial Cavalry of Exorbitance hangs its head and walks away   Guardian *terrfied breathing* A Fraser alliance, we were feet away from a Fraser alliance! How did this happen?!   Seven Kingdoms This place is tainted! Did that thing touch anyone?   Guardian, Rose, and Seven Kingdoms stand still, struggling to regain their breath and control   Guardian Alright, that must never happen again!   Seven Kingdoms *nervously* Listen, I had no idea when I called it over. It just seemed normal!   Guardian This must never happen again, here me! Never!   Seven Kingdoms Alright, lets just put that behind us, and finish up here.   Guardian and Seven Kingdoms sit down. The final alliance steps up, and Guardian starts in surprise.   Guardian No, no, no, no, no, no! Not II, not II!   Seven Kingdoms *whispers* Listen Guardian, I know II can be odd, but it likes you. You can't buy that loyalty!   Ignis Immortales *bubbly* Hey Guardian, how are you doing?   Guardian *nervously* Uh, hi II   Ignis Immortales I heard you guys needed help, and I really want to!   Seven Kingdoms Sure you can!   Guardian No you can't! You always follow me around II, its really creepy, and thats saying something, coming from me!   Ignis Immotales Love me Guardian!!   Seven Kingdoms Of course you can help! *angrily to Guardian* II can help us!   Guardian thinks hard for a minute, then speaks   Guardian Sure you can help us II. Why don't you go and buy us some missiles?   Ignis Immortales *happily* Yay! I won't fail you guys!   exit Ignis Immortales   Guardian Heheh, that gets II out of the way. Now we can go and roll DEIC, UPN, and BoC.   Seven Kingdoms Great! That was the last alliance Guardian, now we don't have any extra help! That was what we were supposed to be doing!   Guardian You're panicking SK, we don't need any help! I can take them all myself, without your stupid ideas. Grab TEst, and lets go!   Seven Kingdoms hangs its head. Suddenly, an alliance becomes relevant, materializing into existence.   Supreme Gentlemen Hey guys!   Guardian Who are you?   Supreme Gentlemen Come on guys, don't you know me?   Guardian and Seven Kingdoms No.   Supreme Gentlemen Really, you've never heard of me or what I do?   Seven Kingdoms Do you do anything?   Supreme Gentlemen ​Augh, why does nobody know what I do?   Guardian Maybe because you're not important?   Supreme Gentlemen You know what, screw you guys. I'll find someone who cares.   Supreme Gentlemen becomes irrelevant again, and dematerializes   Guardian What was that?   Seven Kingdoms I have no idea...   Guardian Anyway..... Lets go defeat our opponents! The final showdown!   Seven Kingdoms There really isn't a way I can convince you to wait?   Guardian Nope. Grab TEst and Rose, and lets go!   Seven Kingdoms Oh well, I wrote my will anyway. Lets go. Come on Rose..   Rose Yay, I like this party!   exit Rose, Seven Kingdoms and Guardian   End of Scene 2

TheNG

TheNG

 

Introduction and Play #1

Hello everybody! As I'm sure you all know who I am, at least a little bit, so I'll skip the introductions. I'd like for this blog to be a place where you guys can occasionally see my thoughts, perhaps a different perspective from the standard. (Or perhaps not....) In addition, I'd like to feature some content that it is hard to have on the main forums, with that in mind, (and at the request of several) I'm going to be posting my plays in their full here, so they're easier to read without scrolling through pages of forums. For those who know Pre is too biased, here is my 100% factual history of the Marionette War, from the view of all your favorite alliances! (I unfortunately had to split it into three parts, but at least you don't have to dig through [email protected]#$posts)   The (Insert Name Here) War, A Play Written by: TheNG Edited by: TheNG Starring: Rose as itself Guardian as itself Seven Kingdoms as itself Terminus Est as itself Brotherhood of the Clouds as itself The Dutch East India Company as itself United Purple Nations as itself   Act 1 Scene 1 - A small park near a major road. Scene: Children are playing on playground equipment, and Sheepy lounges on a lawn chair being fed grapes.   Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms   Guardian You know, its been a long time since we had some fun There isn't much to do when you're secretly allied to nearly all major alliances   Rose We could, uh, play on the slide?   Guardian Ugh, Rose, that is the stupidest thing you've said all day. What are we, two years old?   Rose wails and begins to smash its head against a tree   Guardian Oh fer- ROSE! STOP IT! I'm sorry I said you're stupid! Listen, we'll play on the slide with you, OK?   Rose backs away from the tree and grins lopsidedly   Seven Kingdoms You know, Guardian, you can call Rose childish, but we are all kind of young, I just turned one year old actually.   Guardian ​Shut up SK. You know that I can't stand to be proven wrong...   Seven Kingdoms But all I said was-   Guardian grabs Seven Kingdoms by the throat and pins it against a tree. Terminus Est and Rose look on   Guardian *low, deadly whisper* I said SHUT UP! Do you want to be shitposted!? Do you want to end up like SI?   Seven Kingdoms *In between choking noises* No... I don't... want to.. be..   Guardian lets go of Seven Kingdoms and straightens its fedora   Guardian Well, choking SK gave me a great idea, lets go beat up and bully those innocent children.   Rose But what about the slide?   Guardian gives Rose an evil look, under which Rose quails. Terminus Est grins and pulls out a large, worn club   Terminus Est I like senseless, reasonless violence! Little kids can't be all that different from seals, right?   Guardian I like your thinking, TEst!   Enter Brotherhood of the Clouds, United Purple Nations, and The Dutch East India Company, chatting amiably but inaudibly   Guardian grins evily   Guardian Actually, I have an even better idea. I've just remembered that UPN had way more friends than me back in third grade. While UPN was cool and popular, I was a lurker, a nobody. Lets go beat them up instead!   Seven Kingdoms So this is how you express your deep childhood trauma.   Terminus Est If there is one thing I learned while in prison, its that with other alliances, you have to provoke them first to make us look like the good guys.   Guardian But aren't we always the good guys? Uh, anyway, I guess we can do it TEst's way.   Seven Kingdoms I can pretend to be their friend to lull them off guard!   Guardian Good plan SK! Alright everybody, pop your collars and lets go crush these losers!   Guardian and Seven Kingdoms advance confidently toward United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company. Terminus Est lags behind them, pulling along a confused looking Rose   Seven Kingdoms Hey guys, hows it going?   United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look over   United Purple Nations Uh, hello?   Seven Kingdoms Hey bros, have you seen this new guy, New Shr-   Guardian *interjects* You're stupid DEIC!!! HAHAHAHAA And you, Brotherhood, where'd you get those clothes? The lame shoe store?   Brotherhood of the Clouds Uh...   United Purple Nations You want something, Guardian?   Seven Kingdoms and Terminus Est pull Guardian aside   Terminus Est *whispers* This isn't how you do it Guardian, you're supposed to be subtle.   Seven Kingdoms *whispers* Since when are any of you guys subtle? Let me handle this.   Guardian *shouts* Screw subtlety, I'm gonna murder 'em!   ​United Purple Nations, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and The Dutch East India Company look at Guardian in surprise   Terminus Est Haha! Feel the wrath of my-   Terminus Est pulls a gun out of its pocket and tries to shoot United Purple Nations, but sends the bullet into its own left kneecap instead. Rose passes out from fear and collapses to the ground   Guardian Oh come on! Beat them up you idiots!   The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations stare in confused shock as Guardian grabs an unconscious Rose, fear shining in its eyes.   Seven Kingdoms *Wimper* We should probably go...   Guardian Seven Kingdoms, grab TEst!   Guardian retreats, carrying Rose. Seven Kingdoms follows quickly, dragging TEst, who is bleeding badly from its left knee and shouting expletives.   Guardian This isn't over! I'll be back!   Exit Guardian, Seven Kingdoms, Terminus Est, and Rose   United Purple Nations and The Dutch East India Company What was that?   Brotherhood of the Clouds I have no idea....   End of Scene 1   Act 1 Scene 2 - The basement of Guardian's house Scene: The basement is messy, covered in dirty clothes, Market Manipulator's Monthly magazines, and piles of unsent hate mail to The Dutch East India Company. Two large posters of a kangaroo and a sneezing cat hang on the walls, next to a dartboard with an image of The Covenant printed on it. Sheepy stands in the corner, covering his ears as a group of people yell at him about planes and ships.   Enter Guardian, Rose, Terminus Est, and Seven Kingdoms   Guardian *angrily* You guys are worthless! I had them all on the ropes when you losers had to mess everything up!   Seven Kingdoms You had it under control?   Guardian *continues angrily* Sometimes I don't even know why I let you incompetent fools hang out with me!   Seven Kingdoms Because we're the only alliances who can stand you, and you have no other friends?   Guardian force chokes Seven Kingdoms   Guardian What have I told you telling the truth when it makes me look like the terrible alliance I am?   Seven Kingdoms *resignedly, between choking noises* Not to do it...   Guardian *Condescendingly* Excellent....   Guardian releases Seven Kingdoms   Guardian Alright SK, this was just the first round! We may have suffered slightly due to unforeseen... uh... weather.... but we need to get back at them!   Seven Kingdoms I'm pretty sure it was entirely your fault, but whatever. Anyway, do we have to get back at them? We were supposed to be doing something fun, and this is a lot of work.   Guardian Well, before my inane rage was merely my way of expressing my deep-seated psychopathic tendencies, and the fear of anything which is better than me. Nowthey've made it personal! And go wake up Rose, that idiot is still passed out!   Terminus Est *weakly* I'm still crippled and bleeding over here.....   Guardian Of yeah SK, fix up TEst while you're at it.   Seven Kingdoms Why do I have to do everything?   Guardian Because I'm the smartest one around here, and I need my brainpower to think of a good plan that you morons can't mess up.   Seven Kingdoms, grumbling, bandages Terminus Est's shattered kneecap. Rose suddenly wakes up   Rose Did I do the good thing? Did I beat up the mean alliances?   Guardian I hate you Rose.   Seven Kingdoms pulls Guardian aside, while Rose begins to play with a doll and a dead squirrel. Terminus Est awkwardly crawls onto Guardian's bed and begins picking its remaining teeth with a butter knife.   Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Listen, if we really want to hurt BoC, DEIC, and UPN, we might need some help. I mean, all TEst can do now is provide weird "moral" support, and I don't know if Rose is really all here sometimes.   Rose lights the squirrel carcass on fire and begins to run around the basement, singing about sandwich ponies and reforming neutrals.   Guardian *whisper* Nonsense, Rose is a perfectly normal alliance, everything it does is very rational and reasonable.   Rose runs into a pole, and collapses backwards like a sac of dumb bricks   Guardian *whisper* And TEst has the highest tolerance for pain and intelligent comments I've ever seen, it'll be perfectly fine in a coup- Wait, what is TEst doing?   Terminus Est has begun to foam at the mouth and thrash wildly, sightlessly glaring with bloodshot eyes, as it screams like a dying goat   Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Oh, TEst must be having another one of its alpha flashbacks, it gets them every so often.   Guardian *freaked out whisper* That's kind of creepy. Why did I never know about this?   Seven Kingdoms *whisper* Because you are always too busy being a jerk to really care about any of us.   Guardian *whisper* Good point. *louder* Alright, I've got a plan, SK, you track down any other alliances who might want to help us. I'll take Rose and go spy on our enemies.   Seven Kingdoms Why do we need to spy on them? We know who they are and where they live, heck, you even have UPN on speed dial.   Guardian Don't question my true and utter genius SK, you just get us some backup, and calm down TEst. *shouts* Rose, come with me!   Exit Rose and Guardian   Seven Kingdoms pulls out a large stick while TEst flops off the bed and thrashes around on the floor, wailing.   Seven Kingdoms Alright, TEst, time for your medicine...   End of Scene 2   Act 1 Scene 3 - Outside United Purple Nation's Treehouse Scene: The treehouse nestles low in a money tree. The Dutch East India Company, Brotherhood of the Clouds, and United Purple Nations sit within it. Guardian and Rose hide in a bush on the sidewalk 20 ft. away. Sheepy stands in the middle of the street, burning a multi at the stake.   United Purple Nations Man, that was really weird.   Brotherhood of the Clouds You said it, but honestly though, what do you expect from those rejects?   The Dutch East India Company No kidding, have you heard how Rose was dropped on its head when it was born?   Rose *excitedly* Hey, thats my name!   Guardian *loud whisper* Shut Up!   Brotherhood of the Clouds And I heard that Seven Kingdoms has never even read Game of Thrones, just the wiki article!   United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, Rose, and Guardian gasp   The Dutch East India Company Did you hear something?   United Purple Nations Uh, I don't think so. Anyway, do one of you guys have a spare button-down. This one has TEst's kneecap blood all over it.   Brotherhood of the Clouds passes United Purple Nations a shirt, which United Purple Nations puts on.   Guardian Wow, UPN has really great abs...   Rose Are you jealous?   Guardian Completely and utterly, but- Wait, did you say something intelligent Rose?   Rose I tried to ride an aquarium pebble once, but then my mom hit me on the spleen with a large green toad .   Guardian Hm, it must've just been my imagination.   Brotherhood of the Clouds Just out of curiosity, when were you going to tell me that those guys don't like us?   The Dutch East India Company and United Purple Nations exchange glances.   The Dutch East India Company *nervously* Uh, totally..... of course.... We didn't tell you already?   United Purple Nations *nervously* Uh, must've slipped our minds. I'm so busy being popular, you know. Are you sure we didn't tell you?   Brotherhood of the Clouds Yeah, pretty sure.   The Dutch East India Company Anyway, what do you want to do with the afternoon?   United Purple Nations We could get temporary tattoos and cruise around town in my convertible.   ​The Dutch East India Company and Brotherhood of the Clouds Sounds like a plan!   Guardian looks at Rose, who is licking a bud that it picked off the bush.   Guardian *sadly* ​I wish I had friends like that... *with increasing confidence in order to convince itself* ​Anyway, this was a highly successful espionage mission. It has only served to reinforce my preexisting notions that these fools are weak and divided. They will fall easily to my great and glorious might. Nothing will sta-   Rose inhales the bud, starts choking, and falls out from behind the bush. The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brothehood of the Clouds look down in surprise.   ​The Dutch East India Company Is that Rose?   Guardian rises out from behind the bush   Guardian *loudly and shrilly* I take no responsibility for my own actions or of those who blindly follow me!   Guardian takes off running down the street with Rose in tow. United Purple Nations, The Dutch East India Company, and Brotherhood of the Clouds look on in shock   Exit Guardian and Rose   United Purple Nations Why are paperless alliances such weirdos?   The Dutch East India Company *sagely* Probably because they carry the most baggage from other places.   The Dutch East India Company, United Purple Nations, and Brotherhood of the Clouds break out laughing   End of Act 1   Holy Hell, this thing is longer than I thought. Breaking up into 2 parts.

TheNG

TheNG

 

Teh furst entree in mi blahg

This blog will contain some of my thoughts. Many of these thoughts will be completely stupid and irrelevant. Although, occasionally I am capable of creating greatness. Great lines of text will flow from my brain down through my fingertips. Onto a keyboard that sends electronic pulses through a processor in a computer sitting in my lap or on my stomach. These words I type then get sent thousands of miles in an instant, becoming available to millions upon millions of people. Because of this, I have an opportunity to become immortal. Something I write, from the comfort of my own home or at school or in a restaurant, has the chance to touch someone. It has the chance to influence someone to do something that changes the world. Now, what they do, I may never know. But what I do know is that this blog will effect how people think of me. It will alter people's perspective of the world and Humanity in general. It may inspire someone to create a great new invention that saves the planet. Or, it may influence someone in such a way that they feel that they need to do something so unspeakable that people will remember it for all of time.   As I write these lines on my computer screen I know not what I will type. Nor do I know how it will effect people. But what I do know, is that this blog is the start of something new.. Something that will do something for me and for others. But I digress. In the coming weeks I plan on returning often to my ¨blog¨. I will write things that I feel like I need to discuss with people. Things that need to get out there for the people who play this game. Who knows where this will take us?!

Namenoonewillfind

Namenoonewillfind

 

GRRRRRR

I HAVE WRITTEN OUT A BLOG POST TWICE, BUT ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED THE BACK-BAR AND ENDED UP LOSING MY WRITING... TWICE. %$%#%**@!!!           SHEEPY YOU SHOULD MAKE AN AUTOSAVE FEATURE SO MY STUPIDITY WONT HURT ME HERE IN THE FUTURE.         CAPS LOCK TO SHOW ANGER, ACTIVATED

MRBOOTY

MRBOOTY

 

28th April

Today I got up and went to rent a car so I can drive 4 hours to Albuquerque here in a minute (I try to time my arrival with the cleaning people on the first floor).   Anyway... I got driven to the airport by my friend's wife who had a doctors appointment on post which is near the airport. I had to leave a bit early because of this (the airport being 30ish minutes away).   Of note, I called the car people yesterday (Advantage if you are curious) gave my name and told them I would be early. "We open at 6:00, sir." Great says I. Will my car be there? "It should be sir." Also great. Thanks.   Today I arrive at the airport and get dropped off. I walk in and, shockingly, there is a service rep at the counter of my rental people. Fantastic! I approach and give them all the bloody cards they always want (if you travel a lot you get tired of being told to do the same thing over and over again - so I always try to beat them to the punch).   Now for the fun conversation:   Attendant: "Are you renting a car today?"   Me: "No, I would like some orange juice and a waffle."   A: -unfazed by my hilarious retort- "You are early."   M: Yes I called your people yesterday - they said I 'should' be OK.   A: You may have to wait an hour for a car, I do not have any compacts available.   M: Alright.   A: Let me see. I don't have any compacts available.   M: OK.   A: Your drivers license is expired.   M: No, it isn't. look at the 4th card I handed you.   A: Oh, I see...I don't have any compacts available.   M: OK.   A: You look young in your drivers license.   M: Yeah, I was 16 in that photo. I had hair for example.   A: People in, New Mexico (i think he said), get their picture every 30 years.   M: uh huh   A: They can look a lot different.   M: That does happen over time.   A: I don't have any compacts available, I think I can get you in a mid sized SUV.   M: Fine.   A: You are early though.   M: Uh huh. I called.   A:   M: -.-   A: Well, here we go....   The rest is signing the digital pad that hardly ever works at rental places for some obtuse reason and turning down all coverage for the millionth time.   This is not the worst, or best if you will, encounter with plane and car people - but it did happen today so there you go. Blog on.   If you live in ABQ I will be there tonight but intend to hit a casino for an hour or two. So w/e

LordRahl2

LordRahl2

 

Why I believe Politics and War is a successful game

Having been a part of several other simulators, I will say PnW is by far the best by in game content.   I love the fact that there are alliance banks. The economics are so much different and you can control so much more with the markets. The manufactured resources and regional resources add something more than other game's selective resources. It is by far something which really keeps people interested early on.   Something else is the Improvement Gameplay. I have to say the idea to link power with cities is something which makes improvements so much better than other game's versions of improvements. Production options, Commerce, disease, etc: make cities much more important and also add to the gameplay.   Also, an active admin makes it so much better   The politics of this game are in my opinion much different, and because of that it makes guessing political situations much more interesting. Paperless treaties, raiders, merc alliances, etc: more interesting things I dont find as much in other games.   I have had a few other people in other games tell me they dont want to do PnW again cause they tried it in Beta and didn't like it. I have asked why and they dont have a clear answer. Seeing the game from this view is something I have tried to use to get more people to try it out. BK people did, and now we love the game more than others.   (I wanted to write an easy first blog to get my blog rolling So probably not very much interesting stuff in this one).   I will ask though, in the comments, are there any other things about this game that you think make it successful?

Magicboyd25

Magicboyd25

 

Increasing Server Resources

Today we reached 2,000 players logging in per week, which is a huge milestone. We're at over 17,000 nations simulated to date, and more and more people are signing up every day. A large part of this is due to online advertising, that has brought players from other communities which has enriched our own.   I've been working on encouraging this sort of growth, and increasing the entertainment value of Politics & War. I invest more time than you can imagine into development of the game, as well as management, administration, etc. It's been a great experience, being in charge of this whole thing, and doing my best to steer us towards prosperity.   I made this blog post so I could ramble on about the game, and talk about the challenges that must be overcome and the amount of effort I've put into trying to do this thing right. What inspired it was that I just upgraded the server's resources, we're now running on 2 more CPU cores and twice the RAM we had previously. This should make a pretty significant difference in terms of how things load (especially during peak hours) and making sure that you guys can access pages quickly and reliably.

Alex

Alex

 

Testing the blog system out(Writing about crap mostly)

Alright, so here we go. I've never posted on a "blog" before, so I thought I'd give it a go and see what comes of it.   So why do I have this Viking fantasy?   Ever since I was young, I've been fascinated by the Norse culture. I loved their way of life, art, weaponry and general theme. I remember finding out that my fathers family name is of a Norwegian decent, that alone exited me beyond belief.   I took the name RagnarBuliwyf online due to being nicknamed Ragnar in military School(Because I was extremely hairy and had the fascination with Vikings) I threw Buliwyf on it due to the movie "The 13th warrior" There's a large viking on the movie and his name is Buliwyf. I thought RagnarBuliwyf had a good ring to it, so I took it as mine. I only later realized that I was legitimately the only RagnarBuliwyf online, something that I've took a fair amount of pride from.       Anyways. That's it, I'm done. I just wanted to test out what the blogs were like and thought I'd post something about my name which a few people asked about.

RagnarBuliwyf

RagnarBuliwyf

 

Blogs on the P&W Forums

I'm happy to announce that we now have blogs available for all of you players who use these forums.   With great blogging powers comes great responsibility, and I trust that everyone will use these appropriately. Should you fail to meet my expectations of appropriate blog use, you shall be smitten with a warning point.   Enjoy.   Tl;dr - Be nice with the blogs. Enjoy them, and follow the forum rules apply here as well

Alex

Alex

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